'Holding On' Episode Review

Holding On begins with Wilson waking up, rather than a dramatic POTW opening scene. Wilson's case is the dramatic focus of the episode and we see this constantly through House's refusal to take on another case. At the beginning of the episode Wilson tells House that he will not have any more chemotherapy, because five months living is better than a year in excruciating pain at the hospital.

This week's patient, a nineteen year old cheerleader, is admitted with a massive nosebleed and dizziness. Initially he will represent a parallel to Wilson. House refuses to take his case, telling the team that 'my best friend is trying to kill himself'. House counters Adams' thoughts about dying with dignity with 'there's no such thing', a shout out to the pilot episode, in which he says the same thing to Rebecca Adler (purposeful Holmes re-reference?), the school teacher. The POTW in this episode is shown to hear voices because of activity in the audio section of his brain. Bear with me when I say that the patient appears to simultaneously parallel both House and Wilson. These audio 'hallucinations' led me to think of how House would feel if Wilson died, which was compounded by the fact that the patient tries to kill himself because he will no longer hear his brother inside his head after surgery. Although the connection was fabricated, it was still incredibly meaningful. With the connection broken forever he no longer wants to live. Throughout the episode House begs Wilson to accept treatment because he needs him. House is fully aware and open to admit his dependence on Wilson. Similarly, Wilson needs House to accept that he's dying and to be there for him until the end. Therefore, when the patient tries to kill himself, this reminds House of Wilson and he explodes in a rage of uncontrollable emotion and begins to strangle the patient to force him to fight for his life, to want to survive. On the other hand, the fact that the patient does survive may represent the fact that despite an excruciating struggle, House could survive (although I'm still not convinced he could) without the presence of the voice of conscience that makes his life worth living. He tells Wilson at the end that he's the only one he listens to. In a moving scene at the end we also see the patient's mother accept to talk about the death of his brother, to face reality, just as House must do with Wilson.

In a Known Unknowns fashion House drugs Wilson for what he believes is his own good. Wilson's expression is priceless just before he's knocked out and House hooks him up to what appears to be chemo but turns out to be a sedative. He wanted to show Wilson what it would be like to be dead, no dreams no thoughts, nothing forever more...without the waking up part. Of course, House being House, it's not a completely selfless act because he wants Wilson to be there for him five months on, rather than dead. It was the cafeteria scene that really reinforced the fact that Wilson is dying. The point is not whether the patients were fake or not, but the fact that House went to the trouble to show Wilson just how much he matters, how many lives he's saved. I felt utterly choked by that moment, tears and all. 

Thirteen makes an appearance and convinces House that the most important thing is to be loyal to Wilson, just as he supported her by forcing her to live life as she wanted to. Just before she walks in House is watching a cancer patient enduring chemotherapy, which demonstrates a further awareness of how much his friend would suffer. Before she meets House, Thirteen tells Wilson that he should start the chemo, two weeks on two weeks off and then reassess, but Wilson is sure he wants to just live his life, with his friend, so Thirteen passes the message onto House.

House pretends to admit defeat and organises a nostalgic dinner to celebrate their friendship, toasting 'to climbing the hill'. Wilson realises his ulterior motive and breaks down. House's outburst about the chronic pain he feels and the fact that he's considered ending it many times emphasises just how much Wilson means to him, because he never gave up. House plays a beautiful melancholic piece on the piano which preempts his acceptance of Wilson's decision to live his life without chemo.

A clever man once said that in an excellent plot the end is implicit in the beginning, in cyclical form. Yet the thread only becomes apparent when you reach the end. At the beginning Foreman gives House tickets for a game which is 'one month after Wilson's expiration date', to show him that others care for him besides Wilson. At the absolutely ground shattering end, the mischief House causes with the tickets results in a catastrophic destruction of hospital property. Just as House had begun to accept Wilson's fate he is confronted with his own. This criminal destruction of property is a violation of parole and he faces six month in prison, as many months as Wilson is likely to survive... I can honestly say that I did not see that coming. What an absolutely fantastic and moving episode.

Incredibly excited, sad, curious, nervous, emotions ad infinitum to see Everybody Dies. The end is nigh, and it's a hard pill to swallow.

'Post Mortem' Episode Review

At the beginning of the episode, attached to the very open demonstration of death and loss, was a mixed feeling of horror and realism. Death staring at you in the face. Dr. Treiber begins the autopsy of a woman whose time of death has just been called. We explicitly see her heart being excised from her chest. The image of her heart being ripped out of her body makes me think of how House feels about Wilson dying of cancer. Dr. Treiber slices open his face during what seems to be a psychotic break, which House dismissively diagnoses as 'walking corpse syndrome'; another dark parallel to Wilson's current situation. Treiber won't trust anyone but House to take his case as he is obsessed with medical conduct and malpractice. Treiber is absolutely meticulous in his work, to the point where the final diagnosis comes in part from the soap with which he obsessively washes his hands. The soap, combined with the energy drink he consumes to stay sharp, causes hypothyroidism.

Wilson decides he will be 'indifferent', a term he uses throughout the episode to prove that he is letting go of any concerns, any feelings towards other people, in order to live a selfish and careless life. His overuse of the word indicates just how impossible it is for him to stop caring. Wilson buys, or more likely hires, a convertible red corvette to go on a road trip. He forces House to join him. Usually House would be raring to go, but from the moment Wilson adopts this 'new' attitude House's concern for him grows. Wilson says he wants to go and see Julie Christie, who he's had a crush on since he was young. He later admits that this is just an excuse to stay away from the hospital, as he's supposed to have an MRI of his thymoma in three days. Everything at the hospital reminds him of how real his cancer is, so he creates a false persona, Kyle, as a form of escapism. This was the guy who got the girl in high school. So, 'Kyle' eats the biggest steak anyone has ever seen, has a threesome, drives his car recklessly until it crashes. From the moment the car crashes everything becomes real again, the anger and frustration have been expelled (see 'Moving On'). On a side note, I thought it was interesting that House was knocked unconscious by the car crash. This might later be relevant.

Wilson can no longer show indifference and instead of abandoning an old lady with Alzheimer to get a taxi back, he stays, because that's who he is, and as the House axiom suggests, people don't change. Just as the lady would remember nothing and Wilson's kindness would have no lasting impact on her life, his friendship, and his acts of persistence and kindness have also rescued House many times, and in his case are life changing. Wilson doesn't abandon the lady just as he could never really abandon House. House pretends to be angry about missing the taxi, but on the bus he talks about how Kyle would probably have abandoned him (but Wilson hasn't). Throughout this Thelma and Louise-like adventure House looks at Wilson with expressions of deep fear and apprehension. Wilson is, in part, acting like House, and the reflection is disconcerting. Wilson goes overboard when he overtakes a very serious, solemn funeral procession to feel free, to let go of everything and just live for the moment.

Throughout the episode the team are looking for the cause of Dr. Treiber's condition, and Chase believes that the answer most likely lies with the corpses in the morgue. This would suggest that the dead not only emotionally but physically affect the living. Dying changes everything. This of course makes me think of House and Wilson. However, just as the corpses are not responsible for Dr. Treiber's symptoms perhaps what is happening to Wilson won't develop quite how we might believe. The House writers have this fantastic ability to create scenarios that we could never see coming, or at least not their full impact or extent. Chase heads up the diagnostic team and proceeds with treating Treiber as though he were representing House's orders. Treiber makes him consider his life as a doctor and how, by now, he should have progressed to running his own diagnostics team. The Chase arc in season 8 has been fantastic in my opinion, his relationship with House after the stabbing and in 'Blowing the Whistle' show the extent of how much Chase has grown and learnt. At the end when Chase is saying goodbye to House it was hard not to feel a pang in the chest, to see him thanking House, and seeing House recognise how much the experiences they've had have meant, with a Housian quip, a look and a handshake. It was even more poignant considering this is nearly goodbye for us as well.

By the end of the episode I thought I might go into tachycardia. The tension was overwhelming as I watched House cut his sentence short and stare at the monitor and then at Wilson. His solemn face of shock virtually unreadable. Has the tumour grown despite the drastic measures? Has it shrunk to virtual insignificance? Are there more tumours? It's hard to say. As I've said previously I don't think House can live without Wilson. For me, one of the most poignant moments of the episode was on the bus, when House says he could live without Kyle, implying he couldn't live without Wilson.

The writing and acting in this episode were phenomenal. The expressions House gives Wilson have ingrained themselves in my memory. The attempt to have fun and be carefree is tinged with the bitterness of a reality that awaits them, and us. Only two episodes left...